By Kouthar Sambo

“Anxiety, depression, grief issues, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD), phobias and panic attacks – men suffer from the same mental health issues women suffer, except that they have less of the hormonal issues that women have, an additional burden to bear.”

These were the words of Clinical psychologist Rafiq Lockhat who has been in practice for more than 30 years.

With Mental Health Month underway, Lockhat unravelled some of the common challenges males experience on a mental level.

“Males express their emotions differently to women as men in particular do not go for help. In my experience dealing with the South African Police Service (SAPS), policemen do not go for help, and they work under enormous stress with extreme Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) given the work that they do,” said Lockhat.

They “self-medicate,” explained Lockhat, through unhealthy coping mechanisms such as alcohol, drugs, and painkiller medication until they reach breaking point.

“You then read in the newspapers that a policeman killed his family and himself.”

According to Lockhat, in his professional experience, women barely commit suicide due to emotional trauma, and this is, of course, no coincidence.

He further explained how toxic masculinity is infiltrated through the hesitancy in males asking for help.

“Men are perceived as mentally weak if they ask for help, even though it has nothing to do with weakness. This notion is furthered through their childhood when a little boy hurts himself and the parent minimizes the fall or brushes it off as if it is not a big deal,” reiterated Lockhat.

“And when the little boy shows emotions of pain after falling, they are told not to be a sissy.”

Public motivational speaker Rameez Cassiem has been diagnosed with Multifocal motor neuropathy (MMN), also called multifocal motor neuropathy with conduction block (MMNCB) at the age of 23.

Speaking to VOC news, the 40-year-old said that this rare autoimmune nerve disease degenerates his nervous system, affecting his upper and lower limbs as well as skeletal muscles.

“Getting the news from the doctor about my condition and being told there is no cure for this disease is daunting. But with the right guidance and tools that were given to me to navigate this journey and learn how to live with this disease, has been challenging,” said Cassiem.

“As time progressed, I met some beautiful souls who wanted to help people with disabilities, helped me. I had no idea about these organisations and people, which influenced me tremendously.”

Cassiem went further said that he gained confidence through public speaking as people wanted to hear his story. He then got offered a gig, explained Cassiem, by more people who wanted to hear him share his story of overcoming adversity.

“Being disabled definitely affects my masculinity, especially when the disease started affecting my muscles more. There were times I felt as if I was not doing enough as a man as I look back on the type of person I was, to the man I am now. Everything changed for me in terms of my manhood and what it meant for me to be a man,” explained Cassiem.

Sheikh Abduragmaan Alexander shared his views from an Islamic perspective by highlighting the elevation of women in Islam, which also encourages men to employ healthy masculinity, therefore eradicating misogynistic views by default.

“Islam teaches us that Allah (SWT) has blessed a woman with motherhood because, through the process of motherhood, she continues the process of creation. And then Islam reveals that Jannah (paradise) lies at the feet of all mothers,” said Alexander.

He further cited the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), who said that the best among you, are those who are kind treatment towards their women.

“And finally, Islam teaches us that the woman is the Queen of her home, which demonstrates the glorified position that is accorded to women by Allah (SWT),” concluded Alexander.

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